Today, there are two hot-button issues floating around. One is, of course, the overturning of DOMA. What a huge step in the direction of equality for all! I am truly thrilled by this court ruling, and I’m glad that the obstructionists weren’t successful in further justifying discrimination against a group of citizens who deserve equality. The other hot topic surrounds Paula Deen and her use of racial slurs to identify black people. Race is an issue I honestly can’t believe that we still need to discuss in 2013, but it is what it is, I guess. I’ll be tackling DOMA in a blog post tomorrow. Today, I’m going to answer the following question, posed by my dear friend Merry, from …And Baby Makes Five...
Okay. I have an honest, genuine question. I do not want to start a flame war, and I beg my friends to not think differently for asking…
I once had a friend who encouraged me to ask her questions, and during one of our many late night porch talks, I asked her what was, for me, a difficult question to ask. I said “I know why it is socially unacceptable for a white person to say the n-word. But why is it okay for African-Americans to refer to each other with that word?”
At the time, she said to me “We took something negative and made it positive.” At the time, I accepted her response. But I now find that her reply has left me with more questions. In many, many instances where I have heard African-American people refer to each other with that word, it’s been in a derogatory way. Most of the time when I’ve heard someone speaking in a good manner of another person of color (how lame is that expression, btw? Person of color? I have a color…it’s pale, but it isn’t colorless…everyone has a color, regardless of skintone), they have used the terms “brother” or “sister”. I mean, the n-word was born of, and is steeped in so much hatred and discrimination, why is it okay to use such a hateful term to refer to each other? Is it truly a matter of turning a negative into a positive, which, to be honest, I just don’t think there will ever be redemption for that word? And if it isn’t, then wouldn’t it make sense for everyone, regardless of race, to just stop saying that word? I mean, we don’t really hear about Middle Eastern people calling each other various slurs…or Mexicans referring to each other as not-dry not-front sides, do we?
Am I missing something here? I am not asking with the intent of ignorance, I am asking because this truly puzzles me, and I genuinely want to understand.
Well, Merry, I can understand your confusion. Continue reading →